I was afraid at losing my cool in front of this doctor. I was going to him for vision therapy, not emotional therapy. I didn’t need him as my counselor, but as my guide to a new world. Nonetheless, the memories of my previous two operations, being mocked at school for my magnified bespectacled appearance, going to a preschool for retarded kids, all flooded to my mind. Damn! I’ve wanted so hard to break free from that past, thinking that I am ok with my eyes and who I am. But, in fact, maybe I am not so liberated from it.
Having read Stereo Sue’s (Susan Barry’s) memoir, Fixing my Gaze, about developing 3D vision as an adult, I remembered that she saw double once when trying to drive home from the doctor’s office. She said she needed more time to herself to process how her world was changing, even spending an hour staring at snowflakes, much to the surprise of her colleague. I wondered if I will have to ask for someone to drive me and pick me up from the doctor in case I started seeing double.
Though I was curious beyond belief at what a 3D world could be, the idea of revolutionizing my world was daunting to say the least. There is comfort in the known, despite how unattractive or miserable it may be.
Speaking about it with friends, I revealed that I had no travel plans in 2010. Yes, the non-stop globetrotter with a book on how to travel the world, had no itineraries ruminating in her mind. This, the entry into a 3D world, would be the most significant and mind opening adventure yet. If anything, I might want to revisit the pyramids and Venetian canals that had previously dazzled my eyes and see how they would look when both eyes could see them simultaneously.