I arrived at the office before my 9th session at the end of week 3 of therapy and closed my eyes, waiting for the doctor to call me in. I was always the only adult in the waiting room who was actually a patient and not a parent waiting to retrieve their kid. In the therapy room, with the computers, ball hanging from the ceiling, stereoscopic equipment and other unnamed machines, I was the only patient about 3 feet (one meter) tall and with a developed voice. Though it was fun to feel like I was in a playground, I did feel alone as there were no other adults struggling to see 3D clowns while wearing four pairs of lenses falling off their nose.

“I told the doctor that I needed to find other adults going through the same thing as me and that I thought I was going crazy.

“Doctor, even the parking lot at Bed, Bath and Beyond seems slanted now. I don’t know if I am imagining things or what. I am sleeping 10 hours a night! This is not normal for me.”

“Ten hours, really? That’s not typical, but it can happen,” he responded.

He did various tests on me and told me that the reason I was sleeping so much was because I was making more progress in breaking down my suppression than he had thought.

“Psychologically, it’s very hard on your mind to see things differently than before. You are letting in a lot of information you were suppressing before and it’s unsettling. That’s why you are sleeping so much. Your brain needs to process all these changes.”

Good. At least my fatigue was a sign of progress!

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2 responses »

  1. josh says:

    Now that you’ve told me about your blog, I have to read all of it! And I just wanted to say – I looked at that stupid clown today and he wouldn’t pop out!

    • I feel like I’m having an affair with that clown vectogram. I stare at it every week. I don’t think I look at anyone else as intensely as I look at that clown. I should come up with a name for him and his double. I do notice more details on the blocks and the rug though. But it’s taken me over a year to progress to seeing the light writing or drawings on the sides of the blocks.

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