My goals this year were to develop 3D vision and become a great salsa dancer. Though gaining stereofusion with my eyes would help my hand-eye coordination and thus my ability to follow well in salsa, the two goals are probably not ideally suited to be pursued simultaneously. This explain why I hadn’t gone salsa dancing for six weeks until last Friday.

While spinning around to a merengue song, the room was spinning with me. It was like the scenes in movies when people are super drunk and are twirling around and the see all the lights going around them really fast. But I was completely sober. I was a twirling dervish but their was no mysticism or spiritual purpose to my revolving disco ball and lights above me. I just needed to stay on beat and follow the lead. To avoid confusion, I fixed my gaze intensely on my dance partner, hoping he wouldn’t notice that my eye was moving outwards. (Right before leaving for salsa, I saw that my right eye seemed to moving outwards.)

When the music changed to salsa and bachata and I was dancing with other men, it took a LOT of concentration to follow. Some recommended I take smaller steps.

I so wanted to stay longer, but after an hour and 20 minutes, I had to go. I couldn’t push myself to stay even though I was having fun. I knew that I may pay for it tomorrow with my fatigue.

I can’t be as active as before, but I don’t want to be a total homebody either. Balance. The dance partners were right. It’s all about taking small steps. That’s hard to take for an overachiever like myself. That’s like telling me to stop being who I am.

I am taking small steps to a new me and the world is spinning around me.

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2 responses »

  1. Lou says:

    Reading your stories reminds me of my days in Berkeley, Oakland, UCSF. You mention crossed eyes and also eyes moving outwards. Are you eso or exotropic? I haven’t tasted Vietnamese coffee but I can imagine it something like a sweetened quadruple espresso that will wipe you out?

    • I have intermittent exotropia.

      I don’t know what they put in those Vietnamese coffees but they are SUPER powerful. If I keep drinking this much coffee and eating this many sweets to keep me awake then I will be gaining lots of weight. Given my low energy levels, I am working out less than before. I need balance!

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