The doctor sat me down yesterday. Instead of having me stare at a vectogram of a clown, he wanted to talk to me for over 30 minutes. My prism stickers are coming. When they arrive, he’ll put them on my glasses to see how they effect my vision. He told me that sometimes the prisms automatically help patients fuse. I don’t want to expect a miracle but I do have to say that I am anxious.

One of my exercises, the color chart, is becoming harder for me to do and I see more in double. He says this is a good thing because I am breaking the suppression and anomalous correspondence. It’s so counter-intuitive. One would think that an exercise should get easier the more I do it but actually it’s the opposite. Initially, when wearing the red-green glasses, I could see the letters in the colored (green and orange) boxes without a problem. Now it’s getting harder to see the letters in their boxes without seeing in double. I see the letter in one place and the box in another. Apparently, this is a good thing because my anomalous correspondence was giving me the “right” answer while eyes were both vertically and horizontally misaligned because my brain was telling me what the picture “should look like” rather than how my eyes actually saw it. Now that the brain isn’t trying to make the picture perfect, I see the letters and the boxes horizontally and vertically misaligned and in double. So my brain is processing the images from both eyes.

Explaining this to people who don’t get what vision therapy is or what not having binocular vision entails is super hard. I can barely get that my seeing things in the wrong places is good news. How can I get others to believe that my visual folly is a positive signal?

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