You know you are in binocular vision therapy when…

1. You tell people you can see two moons and the only person who doesn’t think you’re a verified lunatic is your developmental optometrist who asks, “How far apart horizontally and vertically were the two moons? Could you make them come together and be single again?”

Your friend complains he’s losing his hair and you tell him, “I can’t tell because I see you in double. So with your two heads, you have a lot more hair than usual!”

Somebody keeps asking you to drive them somewhere at night and you don’t want go and you realize you have a good excuse: “Do you really want me to drive you at night? I see double at night and all the streetlights, car lights and other lights either have halos or have lots of rays coming out of them in all directions and I have trouble making sense of wear to go.”

You find yourself staring at napkins because you’ve never noticed the undulating texture of the napkin. You say, “Wow, I never noticed how complicated this napkin is. It looks like an orange peel with all its curves and dips.”

At a street crossing, while waiting for the light to turn green, you are distracted from the traffic as you are amazed at the concrete and how unsmooth it looks.

You stare at people you’ve known for a long time (like your mother) and can’t figure out why they look different, until you realize that they have more wrinkles on their face than you had previously noticed! (Hopefully, you don’t announce your new finding to the newly-aged person.)

You prefer to go on walks with your friends and family rather than sit side by side and look at them because you don’t want to see them in double. (Motion cuts down on double vision.)

You finally have an excuse to become a couch potato because you have little energy to do much else.

You have a great excuse to tell your mom so you can diplomatically get out of family functions with loud and annoying relatives and family friends, “I can’t take the noise, plus I see some people in double and it drives me crazy.”

You can be a kid again and spend lots of time every week staring at Humpty Dumpty, clowns and other children’s images and tell your therapist or doctor when you see them in double. You also get to see things that don’t exist. You see five dots on the wall, but the doctor has only shone four dots in red and blue.

Most importantly, anytime you think you are going crazy, you can just blame it on the vision therapy!


2 responses »

  1. keem says:

    Good stuff. I can totally relate. Keep up the good work!

    • Thanks! I am glad to hear an echo to my folly. Staring at a napkin holder like it’s the new Picasso at the museum is bizarre. My burrito could not match the intrigue of the napkin. I try to explain this to my friends who’ve never done this and most people don’t know what to say. My dad still doesn’t understand why I see him with three eyes sometimes.

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