I was walking in a popular park and was stopped in my tracks by a swarm of flies.

Yes, I am writing about flies again.

They moved upwards in the sunlight as though they were bubbles in a recently opened bottle of sparkling (carbonated) water or champagne. This “carbonated” movement is totally new to me.

I was transfixed. I found a tree stump to sit on and stared in awe. Two women walked by, the one with a stroller used her free hand to wave the flies away. I wanted to say to them, “Look at these flies! Isn’t it amazing how they move in the air?”. But I said nothing. They found the flies to be a nuisance.

I sat for a bit waiting for a new swarm of flies to move in between the tries where the sun was shining brightly and I could clearly see the white flies ascending upwards from the ground.

Tears came to my eyes.

I was crying because I’d never seen flies move in this way before. And I had no one to share this experience with. If there had been a beautiful deer or bird, I could have told passersby to stop and admire. But flies don’t interest anyone, except me.

As I walked back to my car, I used my shirt sleeves to dry my eyes. My eyes never stayed dry. This was over an hour ago. My eyes are still filled with tears.

Driving home, it was hard to keep my eyes steady on the road because of the tears. I was overcome with emotion.

I arrived at my driveway and I felt weak. Weak in the way one might feel at seeing a newborn baby, being in love or seeing a loved one die.

I’ve been doing VT for almost three years. My doctor blessed my new glasses yesterday. I now only have a vertical prism and my double vision while driving has decreased. But still I don’t see in 3D. My friends and family don’t ask me much anymore about my eyes. And I am happy about this actually because I have little to report, except for the fact that I have glasses now where I don’t have to wear a piece of tape on the right lens as a nasal blocker to prevent diplopia (double vision). I know. I can see it on people’s faces. People are wondering why I still continue with VT. It has been a huge financial drain, not to mention how my entire life revolves around the state of my eyes and brain. I am sure people want to ask me why I don’t just give up. Telling them how I rejoiced today at the sight of flies in the sun is not good enough of a reason to convince them that I will keep soldiering on in VT.

The only person who is convinced is me.

And the swarms of flies in the sun are my signal to keep going. As I type this, my face is covered in tears. My throat is becoming sore. I know there is a comical element here that my sign from the almighty that my vision is improving came via a life form most people abhor and want to avoid. But only my logical brain perceives that. My emotions are crying. Whether these are tears of joy or sorrow that I am marveling at flies all on my own, I don’t know.

I hope my successful end to VT with stereo vision will come soon. I want to move on with my life.

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9 responses »

  1. Lynn Gehl says:

    thanks I hate VT

  2. Anonymous says:

    Hi!

    Are you still in VT?

    How is your progress?

    Thanks for writing your thoughts in a public forum. It’s very helpful to those of us going through similar situations.

    • I am glad that my explanations and rants are of service to others. I am still in VT and I just saw my doctor today. I need glasses with less of a vertical prism now. I do appreciate more dust floating around in the rays of the sun and I see more details in the texture of my socks and linen. But I still have intermittent double vision when I drive and when I look at something for too long.

  3. AmFam says:

    It is interesting that you have auditory issues (auditory defensiveness?) My daughter, who had vision therapy was very overstimulated by auditory input. This past summer, she did therapeutic listening and after about 3 months, it seems as though her sound sensitivity has pretty much completely resolved itself. If you decide you are interested in trying it, it is something you can totally do at home without a professional, once you buy the equipment (special headphones and cds).

  4. michaellievens says:

    Keep going! Too far to turn back now!

  5. michaellievens says:

    May I also suggest you read a paper… I’m sure you think you’ve seen it all but just in case: http://livingwithdiplopia.blogspot.be/2012/12/accelerating-vision-therapy-through.html. It link to a paper which is very interesting to people like us… I think this might be the boost you are looking for to reach your goal more quickly

    • I skimmed this as someone from New Zealand sent me the link to your blog a week or two ago. Have you tried this light therapy?

      • michaellievens says:

        I’m working on getting it here. I talked to some people who tried it and two optos who have a lot of experience with it. They are all very positive about it. One opto even said it was at the heart of how he treated people with diplopia… I’m just saying, give that seven page paper a read if you can. I really think it might give you the final push you need after all the hard work you did already, but it’s up for your consideration 🙂

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